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Oops I pissed myself. Mommy plz change me 😩

My ass

sisyphusshrugged:

omw to jupiter to get more stupider you guys need anything??

vampireapologist:

vampireapologist:

vampireapologist:

I don’t hang out with white dudes who use mustache wax anymore bc it’s only a matter of time b4 they fall in love with me and find out I’m gay and write a song on their…idk..their fuckin harpsichord or banjo or ukulele about the girl from the forest who broke their heart but also they don’t even like hiking

i know this seems oddly specific & that’s bc it is

3 times

himapapaftw:

people who think a zombie apocalypse would be cool

image

kylesquips:

kylesquips:

If you wanna date a milf you gotta play the long game fellas

Step one: get a gf

Step two: wait